Functional Female Unit Day by Rhianon

[advert:mpu]Taking it as a sign from my nearest and dearest that in fact my mothering isn't something which warrants celebrating, I sat down for a long, hard (seven minute - whilst the bus came - was all I could spare) look at myself: I keep the house going, I don't lose my temper too much, I'm the breadwinner, I'm fair but firm at bedtime and I never miss a birthday. But didn't that survey of kids in the UK say the family they most want theirs to be like is The Simpsons, because they're always having fun?

Now you see I can't remember the last time I actually made the kids laugh so much they had tears in their eyes. And spontaneous fun is so far from my daily concerns it makes me feel quite heady to think about it. Or perhaps that's just the lack of sleep? I am more like a robot with various 'family-friendly' add-ons than a bona fide mother. And I sense I'm not alone.

So, having suffered the romance of Mother's Day, I propose a Functional Female Unit Day and nominating every mother I know: third prize of a non-stick saucepan goes to the mother who is best at keeping their little chirping mouths fed: breakfast, packed lunch, dinner and all the other abominable squashed bananas and 'healthy' snacks in between. Second prize of some Calgon goes to the mother who always manages to keep their kids, partner and house clean, really does wash the floor regularly and honestly changes all the sheets every week. First prize goes to the mum who can keep theirs fed and clean, reads one novel a month AND manages to be among their kids' five top fun people. Then I'll get her to write a book and tell us how she did it.

Short of actually scheduling in 'time for fun!' to our day though, I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to correct this...