[advert:mpu]‘So’, he starts, and I can tell what’s coming, ‘how does Santa have the money to buy everyone presents if he spends all year making stuff for us and delivering it?’
‘Erm…’ I struggle, because I’ve been trying to introduce the value of things a bit this Christmas and don’t want to say something which may later be held against me in evidence. But I needn’t fear, he’s already worked it out without me,
‘Oh! I know, he makes extra toys and puts them in the shops, doesn’t he?’
‘Oh yes, that’s right…’
Last night at bedtime, ‘So, is Santa’s house next to God’s house at the North Pole? And is God still invisible when he talks to Santa, so he doesn’t know where to talk to?’
‘Ummm…’, difficult on so many levels.
‘Oh! I see they both live there but there’s a fence in between their houses and God just puts a cloak on so Santa can tell where he is.’
‘Oh yes, probably… night now!’
This morning. Early. ‘Rhianon! Santa forgot to put a chocolate in my advent stockings! Is that because he was watching me not go to bed last night? Does he hate me now?’
[Mutters] ‘Dammit why didn’t I just get one of those shop ones?... [audible] Oh, that’s not good, hon… erm… no I'm sure he didn't see that...’
‘Oh, I know, Santa just gets really too busy to keep going around to everyone’s house to fill their advent calendars so he needs mummies and daddies to help him give children chocolates, too. So I’ll pretend to go back to sleep, and you go and get a chocolate and put it in there for when I wake up next time’
Yes, sir! As my mum says, I wonder what his last servant died of?
Bullying doesn’t just happen to other kids, it’s not always easy to spot and we need to give kids the confidence and the strategies to recognise and combat threatening behaviour.
Dp & I are getting married, 8 years and two kids down the line. It's less than a week away, we've got 100 people coming and we've yet to buy the rings - I haven't even found a dress - but here's ...
We've all been there - when your child makes an innocent remark (usually at the top of her voice) which turns out to be a horribly personal insult to someone within direct earshot... or worse...
Come on, I challenge you not to smile...
Watch out bugs, baby's about! Wiggle your tasty little abdomen in front of him and you're dead meat, honey!
The first person to wish me happy mother's day on Sunday was my mother in law, on my mobile, in the toilet, about 5pm. Can't get much more depressing than that...
Anyone else’s kids into this? It's like SecondLife but with penguins and for kids...
We're now halls supervisors, living in a quiet block and eating in the canteen with 230 students where every night is a potential party. It's great fun, but a bit out of the ordinary... how can the ...
Of course in hindsight I see it's a little naive of me to trot around searching for rubber knickers, but you see we have this Poo Emergency on our hands (literally, as it goes)...
Yay! Ds2’s started to crawl at 8 & ½ months! He has been doing this thing for a while where he goes on all fours, sticks his bum in the air and then pumps up and down in a very wobbly and ...
An hour on an amphibious car round the sights of London with five four year olds yelling ‘quack quack!’ to passers by: more fun than it sounds!
It may take a while to settle my four-year-old and six-month-old into their new, German nursery.
So here we all are – we’re in our wee flat in Germany with just a few boxes, some raincoats and wellies and a couple of sleeping bags. Like Glastonbury without the mud, drugs or music....
Stagger, the ugly superhero who only comes out at night, is my son's new alter-ego...
So, the baby starts nursery on 28th August... and hasn't yet taken more than a mouthful from a cup or bottle. It's an uphill battle.
It's started: huge clumps of hair coming out when I brush my fingers through it. Plug hole totally bunged up when I have a shower. The old postpartum hair loss begins again...
So I think the happy hormones must be finally wearing off (fun while it lasted) and the incessant tiredness beginning to kick in. Or perhaps those are just my excuses for leaving the baby in the car ...
Paranoia was only made worse by horror stories from other mums: one who walked in on her older son standing in front of the new baby wielding a pair of scissors...
Son no.1 couldn't have been more pleased with his new baby brother. He picks out the cutest nappy for him to wear, and seems charmed when the baby does a poo whilst sitting on him!
We're pox-free, hooray! But a few days later ds broke out in hive-like red lumps - turns out that their wee bodies can have an allergic reaction to the chickenpox virus which causes its own rash. ...
We don’t go out trick or treating. We lie in wait for them to come to us. This year, ds dressed in his skeleton outfit and accosted passers by with sweets... All was fine until he stuck an eyeball up ...
Poor old ds really isn't looking forward to 'Big School'. “They won’t like me” he sobbed, “I’ll be in the corner of the playground on my own because I won’t have any friends of my own!” He thinks ...